Tips on Parenting

While the fetus is developing, it gets all its needed nutrients from the mother through the umbilical cord. This includes compounds that help the baby’s immune system to protect it from harm. But even after birth the baby’s immune system is still not fully mature. Fortunately, nature has cleverly developed a solution. The added help it needs it gets in part from colostrum and milk via breastfeeding.

During the first few days of the baby’s life, the mother’s breast forms and delivers colostrum. This is a thin, whitish or yellowish fluid that comes through the nipple, just as milk does. It is rich with fats, carbohydrates, white blood cells and other compounds that both nourish and provide immune system protection.

Colostrum contains proteins, most especially immunoglobulins, a type of antibody. These antibodies are one of the body’s foremost weapons against invading bacteria, fungi, viruses and other disease causing organisms. Among other benefits, the antibodies from colostrum coat the GI (gastrointestinal) tract and help prevent bacteria in the gut from entering the bloodstream. The colostrum also contains numerous macrophages, small cells that envelop and carry away disease causing germs.

At the same time, the breastfed baby receives the best nutrition possible. Nature has evolved breast milk to contain everything the newborn needs.

Fats, for example, which adults strive so hard to minimize, are essential for the proper development of the nervous system. They help regulate the hormone system, too.

Carbohydrates are the body’s energy source. They’re another category of food calories that dieting adults will often try to keep down. But babies should never be put on a diet. Breast milk is rich in carbohydrates of just the right type and amount to help them develop in an optimal way.

Numerous studies have shown that breastfeeding is highly beneficial for babies. Most strongly suggest that breastfed babies have a better head start in life than those who are only bottle fed. The rate of infectious disease is lower among newborns who are breastfed. The odds of infant diabetes are lower  according to some studies. Breastfed babies see fewer hospital and doctor visits.

But breastfeeding is also good for the mother.

When a mother doesn’t breastfeed, she may experience an uncomfortable sensation in the breast. Artificial pumping to extract the milk is usually required. Breastfeeding eliminates the need to do so. Some may wish to use a pump anyway, in order to have a store of mother’s milk available.

The bonding that takes place between mother and newborn during breastfeeding may be hard to measure medically. But the benefits are observable and real. This quiet time between mother and child are good for both.

Some reliable studies suggest that breastfeeding also helps lower the odds of ovarian and breast cancers. Breastfeeding also delays the return of ovulation and menstruation. That gives the recovering mother a break from having to deal with periods during a very busy time of life. At the same time, it reduces the odds of another pregnancy right away.

Give your newborn the best possible start in life by breastfeeding. Give yourself the benefits as well. Nature has evolved this excellent method for optimizing the health of mother and child. Take advantage of all it has to offer.

Most babies will get some degree of diaper rash during the first year or two. Newborns are particularly prone to acquiring this red, inflamed area on the buttocks, thighs or genitals. Also, the skin itself may be warmer than normal. Fortunately, treating it at home is often simplicity itself.

Anything which irritates the skin can cause diaper rash. A baby’s skin is very sensitive. Still, there are a few common causes.

Long exposure to urine and feces is one example. Pure urine is not infectious. But it mixes readily with organisms, providing them with a growing medium. Bacteria are often found in feces, as a normal part of the body’s disposal of potentially harmful ‘invaders’.

One organism in particular accounts for a large number of diaper rash cases: yeast. This common fungus grows well in moist, warm environments, such as soiled diapers. Even when waste isn’t present, excessive humidity in the air encourages moisture under the diaper. That condition is especially likely in skin folds that trap moisture.

Other causes are possible, as well.

A change in diet can increase stool production, which increases the time the baby’s skin is exposed to it. Ironically, even a new cleansing product can cause diaper rash. Though rarely the cause, thanks to considerable testing, some babies are sensitive to certain products. A new detergent or fabric softener, or even a new disposable wipe, can irritate the skin.

And, not least, some babies are simply more sensitive than others to potential irritants. Tight diapers that are perfect for one will chafe another.

Home treatment is all that’s required in the overwhelming majority of cases of diaper rash.

In most cases, simply cleaning your baby gently but thoroughly will provide the right environment for time to do the rest. Changing diapers promptly and often will help prevent any instance or reoccurrence. Rinsing with warm water during a change to remove all trace of urine and feces is a good idea.

There’s rarely a need for swabbing with alcohol and it can often be counterproductive. It tends to dry the skin excessively. Patting with a soft towel followed by air drying is best. Allow the area to dry thoroughly before fitting the baby with a new diaper.

For babies that tend to develop diaper rash, avoid diapers or outer pants that have elastic bands that tighten against the legs. This blocks air flow that helps to keep the area dry. They may also chafe.

For more serious cases, an antifungal cream may be called for. There are over the counter ointments and prescription strength creams. Which is needed depends of course on individual factors that should be discussed with your physician.

With proper care almost all cases of diaper rash can be conquered within a few days. For those that persist or grow, see your doctor. Any time the rash is accompanied by pus or boils you should seek professional treatment for your baby at once.

In generations past, choosing a baby bed was a simple affair. Most people simply made do with whatever was available. That might be one from a previous child, a generous gift from a neighbor or even a hastily improvised affair from a dresser drawer.

Fortunately, today, the choices are as diverse as the babies themselves. But that introduces another challenge – selecting a good crib from all the options. That’s not a bad problem to have!

Since 1974 all cribs and mattresses have been required to conform to certain safety codes. But some pre-1974 models could still be around, donated by a charitable neighbor or family member looking to save you money. Examine them carefully to ensure they meet certain criteria covered by the regulations.

Among those safety rules are the need for crib slats no wider than 2 3/8 inches to prevent babies from getting a head caught between the bars. They should also be sturdy enough that older babies can’t bend or break them. Some have a top rail that is covered in safe material usually a type of strong plastic that won’t come off in chunks, since babies may stand up and chew on it.

The crib overall should be equally sturdy and the mattress support particularly so. One way to check is to examine the rails underneath the mattress. One along the center is good, two is better. The cross-members should be strong and spaced no more than a foot apart.

The crib mattress itself will usually be either an inner spring design or foam of some type.

Inner spring mattresses are great for adults, but they have pros and cons for babies. They provide good support, but babies are so much smaller that the factors aren’t quite the same, even when the coils are spaced closer together. They also tend to bend away from the crib perimeter, creating a gap that can trap a foot or hand.

Foam mattresses are either ordinary foam latex or the newer heat-sensitive, memory foam type, such as Tempur-Pedic styles. Either works well, but the memory foam crib mattresses will be a little more expensive. That extra cost may well be worth it, since memory foam creates a slow-adjusting and secure mattress.

Regular foam latex makes bouncing easier, making it a little more likely that the baby will bounce a chin or chest onto the top rail. One way to prevent that is simply to get a crib with rails tall enough to make it nearly impossible for the baby to jump high enough to injure itself.

Convenience is an important factor for parents looking for a good baby crib, too. Crib railing often has a mechanism to release the front panel, either by a foot-pedal or a hand lever, or sometimes both. Some require both operations simultaneously to lower the odds of accidents.

Last, but far from unimportant for the majority of parents, the crib should be attractive and fit in with the overall room decor. The baby may not care, but it’s perfectly reasonable for parents and visitors to do so!

All parents wish they could shelter their child from grief. No one wants their child, with limited experience and understanding, to have to suffer through the loss of a beloved dog or the death of a treasured parent or grandparent.

But real life does include the possibility of such things and children grow up healthiest when they’re taught to face reality. How they confront facts can be influenced, positively or negatively, by what they observe from their parents, along with their parents words.

Feelings of sadness at the loss of an important value is a natural, even healthy, reaction. Degrees and style will both vary, of course. But the extremes of stoical ‘stiff upper lip’ or severe, long-term depression may signal an unhealthy message to children.

Reactions to loss from children will naturally vary with age. Very young children are rarely able to grasp the permanence or even the disvalue of the loss. Children from around 5-10 will look carefully to parents as a mirror for their own feelings. Older children may even rebel against painful feelings and claim not to feel sadness.

In every case, it’s helpful for parents to allow children to honestly acknowledge any feelings they have. They should not be made to feel guilty for spontaneous feelings.

Along with age differences, variations in inborn temperament and (externally influenced or self-)developed personality among individuals will produce a range of reactions. Any initial feelings are legitimate and generally healthy.

A healthy personality gradually passes through those feelings. Life brings new values, along with the recognition that even when one irreplaceable value is lost, not all values are thereby lost.

Individuals will vary in how long they take to undergo the process. Some lingering feelings may last months or years. But there is a large difference between sober reflection and depression. Helping children to see value in the former and to avoid the latter will require inculcating realism.

The risk of great loss is inherent in living. Parents, too, will differ in how they react when that risk becomes fact. When they demonstrate an attitude that displays to the child an honest evaluation of the loss, they do their child a service. When they help the child to experience those feelings without guilt or repression they are benefiting their child.

But parents can inadvertently disrupt or retard the return to a normal, self-confident approach to daily living by embracing the false alternatives of too lightly dismissing the loss and excessive emphasis on it.

Dismissing the loss, which the child may see as significant, can lead to repression. The child disowns feelings he or she naturally has. Alternatively, he or she may learn to attach little or no value to any life, even those close to them. The attendant negative consequences are obvious.

Alternatively, when the parent fails to move through the feelings, the child may feel guilty at their naturally-paced recovery. Or, they may feel inclined to be ‘stuck’ as the parent is. Neither is helpful to parent or child.

It is during such periods of sadness and grief that it is hardest to retain the outlook that life still offers the possibility of significant values. But it is also the time when that realization is most needed, for the parent’s sake and that of the child.

Grandparents today would never have thought a day would arrive when bathing the baby was fun. But modern technology has transformed what used to be a chore into a joy.

Newborns don’t require, and generally should not have, anything more than a sponge bath. But after the first few months, especially when the child can sit up and hold its head erect, baths are great. Baby gear manufacturers have responded by offering a hundred different items that make it not just easy, but actually a lot of fun for both parent and child.

Bath tubs themselves have evolved to a high art thanks to high science. Some are form-fitted and tilted to provide an easy and relaxing experience while ensuring safety. They can’t be tipped over, provide drains to prevent water from filling them up and are made to be practically indestructible. They’re sturdy enough for an adult to stand on them.

Tub baths are popular. These are like large plastic buckets with seats that allow the baby to sit up during the bath without tipping over. They’re the ultimate in safety and convenience. Inserts that make the bath just the right size are another modern innovation. Seats that sit in the tub come in every possible size and shape.

Bath screens or gates are another option that provide convenience and security. They fit into the tub, dividing it into a section for keeping the baby away from the tub spout. No more worrying about the little one hitting or changing the controls.

Naturally, the number of items you have to use during the bath is ten times what you would expect. But there are never enough places to put them in a standard adult bath tub. Put them on the edge and you’ll knock them over. Place them on the floor and they will invariably get spilled or knocked away.

Technology to the rescue!

Soap and shampoo holders are only the beginning. Need a place to put that sponge or washcloth? It’s right there. How about a small shelf or holder to cup the baby oil, skin treatments, Q-tips, cotton balls, fingernail clippers and the five dozen other things you use regularly.

But you know bath time is also play time. Even infants splash and explore. They’re learning to use their muscles and their minds. Everything is a new experience full of wonder. What better way to couple hygiene with fun and development than a whole range of bath toys?

Sure, you could stop at the traditional rubber ducky. But there’s so much more that can amuse and delight the baby in a bath. That’s more than just keeping them entertained, too. It keeps them occupied so you can do what you have to, while bath time becomes something they want to do. Laughter rather than crying. Doesn’t that sound good?

The available options today are endless. There are bath seats with integrated plastic horns. You could stock the bath with safe rubberized blocks to learn about shapes and textures. A purple dinosaur bath mitt is useful for you and fun for them. Toy boats, puzzles or even waterproof books are all great ways to make it a fun and educational time.

Now the baby’s bath can be a great time for bonding, learning and enjoyment, as well as hygiene.

Choosing a good pediatrician is understandably a source of concern for many parents. They know their newborn will need one from time to time. And, when the baby needs a doctor, rapid quality care becomes a high priority. Fortunately, there are simple guidelines that will help you find just the right one.

No one size fits all. Even among highly competent physicians there is a considerable variety in personality. Choosing one that suits you is important for a number of reasons. You’ll have questions and some doctors will make you feel rushed, others are more patient. You’ll have to call them at odd hours. Do they provide care willingly or reluctantly? Will they get back to you right away, or hours later?

After you’ve narrowed the field of candidates, you’ll want to cover some basics in a face-to-face interview. Basic screening could be done via phone or email, but you’ll want to meet at least the three final ones on your list. Although, some do get lucky and find just the right one the first time out!

Naturally, you’ll examine their degrees and certificates. Not all medical schools and/or residency programs are created equal. It makes a difference whether a doctor trained at the Mayo Clinic or did field work in Africa. Both have their strengths. Are they board certified in pediatrics? Any qualified pediatrician, as opposed to just a family physician or general practitioner, will be. Are they a member of the American Academy of Pediatrics? This is standard, but not universal.

You’ll want to know with what hospital they are associated. If the choice comes down to a close call between two, this could be a deciding factor. Hospitals have differing policies on insurance and their own ‘feel’. Some are simply closer to home than others. All these things can help you decide. Will the person you choose see your newborn while he or she is still at the hospital after delivery? That tells you something about the level of care and interest in individual patients.

You’re not limited to one pediatrician, and in fact you may be referred at times to a specialist. But your primary care physician will (and should) usually be one person who sees your baby consistently. He or she will become familiar with your baby. That experience counts for something.

In a group practice, who covers for the primary physician in his or her absence? Try to meet that person. When they do refer you to a specialist whom would it be? Try to interview that person as well. The same goes for support staff. Is there an RN in the office who specializes in pediatrics?

Finally, you’ll want to sound out the candidate on such issues as immunization. Are they in favor of vaccinations, or opposed to them? What schedule do they follow? What approach do they take to issues of diet and nutrition?

Your obstetrician is a good source for a recommendation, of course, as are friends and family. Some do double-duty, of course. Your local hospital is another good source for references. If you’ve exhausted those obvious choices, you can try a few good websites that may list pediatricians in your area.

• American Academy of Pediatrics
• American Board of Pediatrics

You’ll find information about the pediatrician’s training, specializations, accepted insurance plans and more.