Tips on Parenting

The nursery of the past was, as the name suggests, a place to nurse and care for the baby. It still is. But those functions, and the ease with which they’re done, have expanded enormously over the past generation.

Even such a simple thing as the need to store diapers has evolved to a high point of safety and convenience.

Diaper bins come in a wide variety today that parents of generations past could only dream of. They offer a seal-tight enclosure to keep odors locked inside until the diaper can be washed or disposed of permanently. Once emptied, keeping germs at bay is a simple matter of a brief spray with a disinfectant.

Boxes to store fresh diapers are sterile, yet stylish. They can easily be kept free of bacteria with a simple wipe of disinfectant. The outside can range anywhere from a traditional, rich-looking wicker to a high-tech marvel of design. A range of styles and colors allows for decorating the nursery in any way that’s desired.

A nursery box is so much more, though. They provide a stylish, convenient place to store toys or crayons or CDs or… The list is endless. Many have special compartments that provide a safe place to put fragile CDs. Many have numerous pockets for softer items that are now within easy reach. And the range of colors and designs is equally endless to fit right in with the nursery decor.

Nursing kits are a must and they, too, have advanced.

In the past, a simple glass mercury thermometer might have been the centerpiece, since body temperature is a key element of infant health. But those were always a little risky and sometimes tricky to read. That piece has been replaced with an indestructible, digital thermometer that is quick, accurate and completely safe to use.

You may want to have iodine or antibacterial spray with band-aids accessible without having to rush to the bathroom. A nasal aspirator is not something you want to have to search for, either. A medicine dropper is much more useful when it’s within arm’s reach. All these and more can be part of a nursery first-aid kit that holds all the items you need.

But the nursery is about more than just function, as important as that may be. It is also an element of the home that you want to decorate according to your individual taste.

As your baby grows a little older, a rocker is both a great way to sooth young nerves and work off some excess energy. But it needn’t be merely functional, it can fit right in with a chosen design for the entire nursery. It can match that walnut dresser, or the gingham-covered wicker nursery basket. It is part of the total that includes that perfect bassinet.

For children who have attended preschool, beginning school will involve less of a transition than for those who have not. But in either case, school is typically quite different from preschool. Added to that is the unfortunate fact that many public schools are often – whether through lack of funding, bureaucratic bungling, bad philosophy or factors outside their control – far less than ideal places to educate children.

But whether parents are enrolling the child in a good public school or private school, there are many similar new factors parents will do well to prepare for.

Some children (and parents, too) will naturally experience a certain amount of separation anxiety. One effective way to deal with this is to avoid the false alternative of ‘Stiff upper lip’ versus ‘Yes, isn’t it horrible’. Children are neither soldiers nor made of Jello.

An honest recognition that new experiences can be difficult, without over-dramatizing, is healthy. Children should be helped to see that the new environment isn’t threatening, but without dismissing their valid concerns.

Meeting the teacher before the first day of school is extremely helpful. Introducing the child to a new adult, one whose goal is to help them develop, with the parent present helps everyone relax. Many schools will hold special events to do just that, but don’t expect to have a long period alone with the teacher. They often have many parent-child groups to meet.

Explaining to the child that attending school is a natural, indeed an exciting, part of growing up will help prepare them for the experience. Most children are naturally curious. Making school a continuation of the home process of developing the child’s mind and confidence by exploring the world will help school seem less strange.

Most schools will assign some form of very simple homework before long. Here again, parents can help avoid any anxiety that may occur in the face of this new challenge by making it not new. Giving the child age-appropriate tasks to complete before school begins helps build confidence, especially when the parent demonstrates eagerness to help overcome the humps.

Beware of giving too much aid or too much comfort, though. Allowing the child to experience difficulty, and seeing first hand that they are competent to meet the challenge, creates those early self-esteem building blocks. Shielding a child from any and all possible sources of discomfort is both unrealistic and harmful to the child.

Demonstrating excessive parental concern can inadvertently suggest to the child that there is something real to be feared in the new environment. That’s contrary to the message the parent wants to convey.

More fundamentally, every aspect of human development needs some kind of challenge to build strength. That’s true not only for muscles and bones, but for mind and emotions as well. When those challenges are within the reach of the child’s real potential – given his or her individual nature – confidence and intellectual capacity grow simultaneously.

Many things about watching babies hasn’t changed for thousands of years. But, happily, technology has improved one aspect dramatically. Baby monitors allow for remote viewing and listening that provides security and safety for the child and peace of mind for parents.

Not surprisingly, since consumer electronics has developed to such an extent over the past 10-20 years, baby monitors are now equally sophisticated. Many have become a combination of TV/Security camera, microphone and speaker, and computer all rolled into one.

Not only do they provide the basic audio and/or visual ability that is basic to any baby monitor, but with added motion sensors and other features they increase security and safety well beyond previous generations.

The most basic models offer only audio. They’re chiefly a microphone that transmits sound to a speaker in another room. But even these low-end types can make that much more convenient and useful than models of the past. The speaker, for example, no longer is just a cheap little box that sits on a table. It can be in the form of a cell-phone style unit that is easily carried on the belt or in a pocket.

More expensive but more functional models add a visual feature. The camera is focused on the baby’s room or bed. The receiving unit, here too, can be of one of two basic types. The less expensive models feature a small TV-style receiver that can be conveniently set on a kitchen counter or living room table. Others are a mobile monitor the size of a cell phone LCD.

One other aspect that has improved enormously over the years is the range. Just as with portable phones, higher frequency baby monitors now allow the receiver and transmitter to be much further apart than in years past. No longer restricted to a few yards away within the home, the mobile receiver can be placed outside next to the pool or garden fence, in the garage… anywhere your phone will reach. Just as with phones, interference is virtually a thing of the past, too.

Still other models incorporate computer and Internet technology. These types can transmit audio-video to your computer in the home office or at work miles away. While not intended to allow parents to leave a baby unsupervised, it makes it easy for the parent at work to know instantly what the one at home sees or hears.

That feature also opens up the option of recording. Like any security camera-style device, much of that footage is going to be uninteresting. Thank heavens! But when something is amiss it can often be very helpful to be able to view the preceding and following minutes.

That provides the ultimate in security. But it’s also helpful in less extreme situations. Babies who become ill or injured can be better diagnosed when there’s a continual, real-time record of their actions. Multiple transmitting units can send data for more than one room to a single location, as well. That’s handy for keeping an ‘eye’ on more than one child at a time.

Still more sophisticated systems are available that sense the baby’s movements and provide alarms when they reach certain limits of distance or force. That’s highly useful for babies who are a little restless when sleeping or when you want to know they are waking up. It provides the next best thing to having a robot continually watch and report back on anything of interest or concern. Wait a few years and that may be an option, too!

Parents often arrive home from the hospital a day or two after a birth exhausted. But that quickly passes. The urge to take your newborn to visit grandparents and others will soon become very strong. Then there are the inevitable pediatrician visits for exams, vaccinations and other medical events. While minimizing travel during the first three months is desirable, whenever you choose to travel with your newborn there are a few things to keep in mind.

Traveling with your baby can seem like planning a 13th century caravan across the desert. There are a thousand things, it seems, to consider. But with modern transportation, communication and baby-friendly facilities in so many places, it’s really not that bad.

Naturally, you won’t forget to bring the basic supplies. You’ll want a supply of diapers, diaper rash cream and a bag for soiled diapers. You should bring some teething gel and infant paracetamol for pain relief on the road. Newborns should not be given aspirin. Petroleum jelly is a must. Sunscreen is helpful for those circumstances where you can’t keep the sun entirely off. Babies have very sensitive skin.

You’ll want a good bonnet and the ability to layer clothing for changes in temperature. That change can be from an air-conditioned car to the hot sun at grandmother’s house. Or, it can equally be from the heated car to a house that is a little chilly for the newborn. Be prepared for either eventuality.

Avoid traveling by air for the first year whenever possible. This isn’t just a courtesy to the other passengers. Pressurized cabins, recycled air, pressure changes from takeoff and landing, and other issues represent a stress to your baby’s system. Breastfeeding mothers will find it hard to find privacy at feeding time and both parent and onlooker can be made uncomfortable.

For auto travel, you’ll need a good child safety seat, one that is specifically designed for infants. It should be rear facing and be installed in the back seat. An air bag that deploys in the front seat can cause serious harm, both from direct impact and the hard jerk to a baby’s neck. Always take the time to secure the car seat properly.

However you travel, food and drink are essential bring-alongs. Babies get hungry on an internal schedule that is not synchronized with parental convenience. Telling them to ‘wait until we get there’ is not an option, as it is with older children. The ability to breastfeed conveniently and safely is best. For those on formula, having some means of warming formula is good. Special warmers are available that plug into the cigarette lighter socket.

The ability to perform a diaper change on the road is another must. The alternative isn’t merely discomfort, but a bad smell for you and increased likelihood of diaper rash for the infant. A portable changing station or pad will make that chore much easier.

Newborns are much more susceptible to germs than older children, since their immune systems are still developing. Keeping exposure at a minimum is important. Avoid having every family member and friend breath on or touch the newborn. Insist that only those with clean hands and no colds get close.

Sure, there are lots of challenges to face when traveling with a newborn. But, like that 13th century caravan, it can be an adventure!

In generations past, nannies were extremely common. Then, for a while, they fell out of fashion. Though they never disappeared. Now, they’re back in style – probably to stay. Not just for the rich, they provide expertise, an often badly needed extra pair of hands, and – not least – a sometimes more objective perspective on your baby.

Next to choosing a pediatrician, selecting the perfect nanny could be the most daunting task facing a parent. But it doesn’t have to be an occasion for tearing one’s hair out.

There’s that all important and difficult to state ‘something’, of course, that makes nanny and parent click. That is, the perfect nanny is one whose character and values reflect what the parents themselves aim for. You’ll want someone who is willing to follow your rules without resistance. Offering suggestions and advice is valuable. Ignoring the way you choose to run your home is not. Finding that combination leads effortlessly to trust, confidence in the nanny and a smooth working relationship.

Not far behind is whether that same simpatico exists between nanny and child. Any serious candidate should be introduced to the newborn. Babies operate by sense of smell, touch and limited vision. But they do make implicit value judgments, just as adults do. The infants reaction can range everywhere from instant crying to instant mother-love. Naturally, you’ll want to get a nanny who evokes something closer to the latter.

There are practical considerations, as well.

Some adults are naturally more disease resistant than others. Circumstances may lead them to less frequent exposure, too. A part-time nanny may have more than one family to care for. That introduces the possibility of exposing your somewhat fragile child to germs from others. This should be covered delicately, but decidedly. The perfect nanny will understand your concern and address it forthrightly and honestly.

Any reputable agency, and their employees or sub-contractors, will provide thorough reference checking. That includes personal references from past clients, criminal background checks, DMV history and evidence of a good health certificate.

Even a person just finding their first nanny job can still be the perfect choice, though. Everyone must start somewhere and a first-timer may well be the eager-to-please, determined-to-do-well nanny you are looking for.

It isn’t necessarily the case that he or she will lack experience with children, either. Many mothers, grandmothers, nurses and others regard the prospect of being a nanny as very fulfilling. The best way to find out, of course, is simply to ask.

Once you’ve narrowed down the list to one or two, discuss details.

Propose a contract. An agency will usually have one they use. Include a 90-day trial period in which either can back out without penalty. Look into what options for a replacement nanny (at least temporarily) may be provided if it doesn’t work out. Ask about sick leave and discuss paid vacations and medical insurance.

Remember, as emotional as the choice may be in some respects, you are hiring a professional to do an important job. Some aspects need to be approached like a business.

Blocks and building sets have been popular toys for generations. In this age of electronic toys, you might think they would have faded. Yet, they now sell more than ever. That’s because they continue to serve the same purpose they always have: providing fun and education in an unbeatable package.

Building sets come in such a great variety today that just listing all the options would fill a catalog. LEGO continues to be the king, but there are a dozen other manufacturers that make fine sets, too. K’Nex, Guidecraft and others offer creative choices that will make you wish you were a child again.

Start them off with something simple, like the Arch and Tunnel Set from Guidecraft. A set of two tunnels and eight arches, even this simple toy offers dozens of ways to assemble some very cool structures.

Move up a step and introduce a great new feature with the Shimmering Water Blocks. Rectangles and half circles filled with colored water offer a new dimension to explore. Stack them in dozens of ways and watch the water slosh back and forth as they settle. Great for learning shapes in a fun and stimulating way.

Add to the fun with a 45-piece set of unit blocks. Triangles, rectangular blocks, wedges and half-moons let kids put together ancient buildings in wood. There are 14 shapes in all and the possible combinations are practically endless.

Let them build some truly exotic structures with the 75-piece set of hardwood building blocks. Shaped to allow creating Roman or Gothic buildings, the U-shaped pillars complement the medieval towers perfectly. With 16 different shapes they’ll be able to build entire cities.

Then move ahead in history and up in number to the Lincoln Logs Yukon Express 250-Piece Set. Blue roof parts, characters, a train, tracks and dozens of brown logs let them build colorful, accurate homes and forts. Your child will have years of fun with this set creating entire villages of the frontier.

Enter the modern age with the Mega Bloks Cars Super Building Set. Filled with their favorite characters from the popular animated film, they can make Lightening McQueen, Mater and more. Comes with a storage case that makes it easy to put the pieces away for safe play another day.

Then zoom off into the future with the Star Wars LEGO building kits. Star Wars is an enduring theme for building sets and the LEGO Star Wars Sandcrawler set is just one of many examples. Inside the center section is the Jawa workshop. A crane loads droids inside. The cockpit opens to place a driver in the seat. With almost 1,700 pieces, your young one will never run out of fun.

Your baby may or may not be a future Frank Lloyd Wright. But every child enjoys playing with blocks and building sets. They exercise their active imaginations in countless ways as they learn essentials about shape and the forces of nature. Great fun and super learning toys. It doesn’t get any better than that for you or them.