Tips on Parenting

It’s often said, with a hint of nostalgia, that life in the past was simpler. Probably true. But simpler isn’t always better. Modern technology has developed a range of feeding products that makes the baby’s mealtime safer, more convenient and even stylish.

Feeding dishes alone have seen an evolution from the past that amounts to a revolution. One simple modification of a standard bowl results in a brim that catches food. Looking like an upside down baseball cap, this clever dish will make clean up a lot easier while it minimizes wasted food. Get the type with a suction cup on the bottom and rest assured that no bowl will ever get spilled at mealtime again.

Warming dishes have seen similar advances. Some allow hot water to be poured into the base, then the top snaps on to keep food warm and separated into separate compartments. Others can rest in a warming plate that is electrically heated. Perfectly safe, either of these options lets busy parents keep food ready to eat through brief distractions.

Speaking of warming devices, how about those modern bottle warmers? Available in a hundred different styles, they allow for a range of temperatures. Many offer a safety mechanism that will sense excess heat and turn off before the bottle gets too hot. A combination of sturdy plastic and rust-proof metal means they’ll last for years.

For women who breastfeed there exists an equally diverse range of products to make feeding safer and more convenient than ever.
Breast pump kits can be placed in specially-designed pockets in a bag that makes pumping easy to do on the go. Special comfort bras allow for easy access and practically eliminate the need for any cleanup.

Sterilizing kits for bottles, breast pumps and more are both inexpensive and effective today. Some resemble bottle warmers, but provide a high setting. Others are in the form of a microwave steam cooker, similar to autoclaves used by hospitals in the past. All provide that extra measure of assurance that gives parents greater peace of mind.

The traditional high chair has been modernized, as well. Once upon a time a flimsy, cold tin shelf attached to a rickety frame. Now, high chairs are practically indestructible, while they are infinitely more stylish.

Some models are rich-looking cherry wood that can compete well with the most elegant dining table. Others are made of extremely durable plastic that still manage to look just as stylish. All are made with ultra-sturdy frames and multiple conveniences. One style offers a pedestal base that is so wide it’s nearly impossible to tip over by babies who like to rock sideways during meal time.

A safe, simple locking mechanism makes it impossible for the tray to be lifted up, spilling food and (yikes!) maybe the baby onto the floor. Similar locking mechanisms are integrated into the wheels on the base that provide security for that convenience feature.

Check out the new feeding products and find out how much easier mealtime can be and, in a certain sense, simpler too.

Few things have changed so radically in the last 100 years as the view of a father’s role in parenting.

Once, it was the Victorian view of ‘rarely-seen law-giver’. Then the Freudian influenced ‘not a terribly important factor’ became dominant. That was gradually replaced with the 1950s ‘wise breadwinner’. Then came the social revolution of the 1960s, which taught that fathers were little more than sperm donors. Now there’s the contemporary, splintered view that encompasses a dozen conflicting outlooks.

Sorting out a better view, therefore, will have to involve getting back to basics and asking: “What are fathers for?”, “What’s the effect of their presence or absence?”, and “What actual influence do they have?” Complex and difficult questions, to be sure.

Many broad-based studies concur on one point: kids raised without fathers have a much higher incidence of bad outcomes – poor scholastic performance, violent activities, drug use and criminal convictions.

What to conclude from that can be problematic.

Some point to the economic facts accompanying those fatherless households. Others point to more psychological or ethical factors. Whatever the root cause, and likely there are many, the conclusion remains: kids need dads in order to get the best chance in life.

Of course, being a father and being a good father are not the same thing. Studies and common experience suggest that merely supplying funds for food and shelter, helpful as those are, is just the beginning of paternal input to a good outcome.

Fathers, whether in single-parent homes or in two-parent, dual gender homes, are still looked to as guidance givers. Female children often look to fathers for a sense of protection, and as an alternative voice in conflicts with the mother. Young males will be influenced by their father when evaluating their own identities.

In two-parent, dual gender homes fathers can benefit children of both sexes by, among other things, demonstrating how decisions are made and how they interact with the mother.

Both male and female children get clues about ‘normal’ parental roles when they observe how the father acts when choices are being considered. Do they typically defer certain categories of choices to the mother? (Diet, bedtime, household chores) Do they discuss differences calmly, or do they loudly proclaim male authority?

These, along with a wide variety of other common experiences, help shape the children’s views of interactions among the sexes.

Even during times other than joint decision-making, fathers influence children’s views of adults and the world. Different fathers can display very different basic approaches to problem solving, for example. One is confident, objective, or displays a sense of the excitement of discovery and success. That’s a very different outlook from the man who shows resentment, fear and self-doubt, or hostility at the need to overcome life’s challenges.

Children observe fathers in these, and numerous other, settings. What they observe influences their views much more than what is explicitly said or preached. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but real experience offers volumes.

Babies and pets can be a delightful combination. But sometimes they only mix well if a few precautions are observed. Tragically, in other cases, they don’t go well together at all. A few simple guidelines can help bring harmony in any case.

The first, and one obvious to anyone, is to ensure everyone’s safety. That means both baby and pet. Newborns are the most precious thing in the world to parents, and rightfully so. But the family pet is beloved as well. Keeping them both safe is imperative.

Fortunately, that only requires a little forethought and some preparation. Dogs large and small, of course, will need to be monitored and perhaps restrained, depending on breed and individual character.

Some will see the new little one as prey. Others are merely curious. Either situation can lead to harm to the child. When first introducing the dog to the baby, ensure the dog is controlled with a sturdy leash. Kneel down to the level of both baby and pet. Keep an arm wrapped around the dog’s chest to prevent lunging. Keep the muzzle at least a foot away.

Sniffing without physical contact is ok. Licking, while not toxic, is not recommended at this stage. A baby’s immune system is still maturing. Even though dog saliva contains special antibodies that protect them, they do pick up things that shouldn’t come in contact with the child’s skin. Some children are allergic to the proteins in pet saliva.

Cats can be harder to control. They’re more likely to be fearful or to playfully lash out with a claw-extended paw. They also slip off a standard leash a little easier. When acclimating them to this interesting new thing in the house, use a chest harness to ensure complete control.

Naturally, neither should ever be left in areas where the two can come into contact unsupervised. That will require a little creativity. Dog barriers, high cribs and other preparations can keep almost all dogs at bay. Cats are more difficult, but ensuring they don’t have access to the baby’s room is possible. It does require vigilance, though.

Of course, in a small percentage of cases, the baby will actually be allergic to pet dander. Official figures vary, but the total population of allergy sufferers is about 10%, only a small portion of which are allergic to dander. Also, of that 10%, only a very small portion are infants. So, the overall odds are very low.

In those cases, just as with adults, avoiding contact is best. Many parents won’t want to remove a loved pet from the household entirely. The situation is not an unresolvable dilemma, though. Very little pet dander remains airborne for long. Frequent washing of bedding and a once-per-month wash of the pet can help a lot.

Of course, the situation is far from all negative or worrisome. Pets and babies can have a wonderful bond of the sort that exists with other family members and the pet. A caged pet bird or lizard can be just as much a delight for a baby as for anyone else. Many dogs have actually rescued babies from dangerous situations, either directly or by alerting an adult.

Babies start learning from their first moments. They explore with touch, taste, hearing and vision. Soon, they notice patterns and experience cause and effect. For them, there’s no difference between fun and education because everything is new and exciting. Before you know it they’re telling you all about it!

You can give them hours of fun while they learn with an endless variety of science toys.

Something as simple as the Meteor Storm Globecan dazzle and evoke wonder. Housing a series of LED lights, pressing a simple button turns the globe, which causes a light show in their hands. Easy to use, the globe stops when they let go, so there’s never any risk of it being left on by mistake.

Teach geography the fun way with the Barbie Globe from Oregon Scientific. Interactive, just press down on any of the seven continents and then select a category to learn about. Animals, People & Customs, Geography, Language and Food are covered. Even 3-year olds will be spellbound by the colorful sights and audio offered by this electronic video globe. The LCD at the base displays images as a red LED on the globe allows them to track their path. Includes a Barbie Travel Book.

Then take the lesson with a larger than life inflatable butterfly. With an egg, caterpillar, cocoon and winged butterfly, kids can learn all about the lifecycle of these beautiful creatures. They’ll also have fun playing with all the different multi-colored parts while they absorb the information. Can be hung and comes with a repair kit and activity guide.

Now let them find out all about anatomy with the Anatomy Apron. Made of washable vinyl, it’s covered with colored representations of the heart, lungs, stomach, liver, kidneys and more. Even very young children are fascinated by the look inside their tummies. Organs attach with Velcro so they can play pretend surgeon! Includes a teacher’s guide and activity booklet.

Let the little doctors hear their own heartbeats with the child-sized stethoscope. It’s sturdy and works just like the professional model with safe ear buds and an indestructible listening circle. They’ll practice on the dog, the cat, you… anything they can get to hold still long enough.

Encourage the young scientist in the house with the fascinating Dowling Magnets Mysterious Magnet Tube. Filled with iron filings safely contained, they can mold them into a thousand shapes as they learn about magnets. The tube is sealed so they can have hours of fun without losing any of the material. An activity book provides lots of suggestions and information.

Then let everyone get in on the fun with a 48-piece Solar System Puzzle. At 36″ by 24″ the puzzle is large enough to dazzle the eye and easy to put together. Made of extra thick cardboard, it’s durable and kids will have lots of fun learning about the planets.

Get a science toy and be amazed at how young and how quickly children can learn when they enjoy exploring.

There was a time not too many years ago when baby strollers were much like the Model-T Ford. You could have any style you wanted, so far as it was just the single type offered. With flaky rubber tires on rickety tin wheels and covered with cheap plastic, it was a thing to behold. Today, the ancestors of those old strollers are a technological wonder.

The frames themselves are now virtually indestructible. One might not survive being run over by the car, but anything else hardly fazes them. The alloys and manufacturing process used have made them the safest form of transport around. Integrated harnesses are practically unbreakable today.

They’re also incredibly convenient. They are commonly outfitted with telescoping handles that make it a literal snap to adjust to fit a person of any height. That means if Mom uses it one day and Dad the next, followed by the babysitter the following day, no one has to get a backache leaning down to push.

They have a dozen other features that are a combination of safety and convenience.

Wheels have simple to activate locking mechanisms to prevent rollaway when you pause on a grade. No more worrying about your hands slipping or getting distracted if you stop to have a chat. It’s also almost impossible to get your clothing snagged on any part. With rounded corners, smooth high-density plastic and fabric padding in all the right places, contemporary strollers are a joy to use.

Even traditional designs often featured a canopy to keep the sun off of the baby’s head. But that feature has been enhanced beyond the recognition of older nannies. Detachable, collapsible, fitted with heavy shade or thin mesh to just block UV…these are only three of a dozen innovations employed in just this one area.

You can easily fold up the canopy and tuck it away with no problem. Or, flip it out in an instant and never worry about it tearing. Many models go by the name ‘umbrella stroller’, which tells you all you need to know about this variation on a theme.

Many designs today are modular. That means, among other things, that the bed or seat portion can be detached and used as a hard shell carrier, car seat or bassinet. Then it locks right back into place, easily and securely.

Attachments abound. Diaper bags fit on with snaps, straps or in an integrated pocket. A foldable changing table can slide into the base, under the bed or seat section. Store your purse or camera securely in one of a dozen sturdy fabric pockets.

Traditional four-wheel, rectangular shapes are no longer the only option, either. For joggers, a three-wheeled triangular stroller makes for a little easier journey. Easily push the baby along with you while you maintain your exercise routine.

Need to stroll with twins? A double or twin stroller is just the thing. Babies sit side by side and enjoy the ride. Prefer a tandem arrangement with one in front, the other in back? These are also available.

Now the only problem you’ll have with chosing a stroller is resisting the urge to buy several models.

Sometimes a child labeled ‘difficult’ is just expressing a healthy need for independence. But in other cases, the label is actually too mild. Adults can be violent, irresponsible, indifferent to the harm they do others and typically that behavior begins in childhood.

Not all such children are potential criminals, but they share some of the characteristics – refusal to fully accept reality, poor impulse control, lack of empathy, disrespect for the rights of others and a range of destructive behavior against people, animals and property.

Usually the signs are all too clear to parents – refusal to accept limits or take instruction, shouting, temper tantrums and sometimes hitting siblings or even parents. Sometimes the condition is influenced by genetic and hormonal factors – as in Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD or even autism. It can be magnified by stressful factors in the environment.

Some temperaments are natural, such as extreme sensitivity to stimuli, some moods can be brought on by new elements such as a new child in the home. Sometimes, as with adults, it’s simply a choice to misbehave.

Sorting out all these complex factors is one of the parent’s toughest jobs. Testing may help. It can be useful to get a good diagnosis, but take what you hear with a grain of salt. Consult more than one specialist when possible. There is a lot of junk science in child development.

But whatever the causes, the parent will need to exercise even more than normal patience to deal with the child’s behavior. Frustration and anger are normal, but only add to an already difficult situation.

Dealing with the child and its behavior can range from simple time outs to distraction to some drug therapy (in extreme cases). When a child misbehaves and refuses to listen, removing a wanted toy or restraining a desired activity can be helpful. It should be accompanied by clear and firm expressions of the reasons for the actions. That helps the child associate its unwanted behavior with the consequences.

Physical punishment rarely helps, but a tap on the hand is hardly abuse. Parents should avoid feeling guilty, as if they caused the behavior. There are abusive parents, but these are not the ones who are seeking to understand and mold their child’s actions toward more healthy expressions.

Be prepared to alter the environment. It may be necessary in some cases to not have pets in the house and siblings should be protected from any bad behavior. Often, with patience and the employment of standard techniques, the child’s behavior can be altered, sometimes dramatically.

Dealing with difficult children is, by definition, difficult. But with patience and training both parents and children can achieve satisfying results.